studies and results

so this is why i don't like the science and technology page of the times of india
in yesterday's paper (friday,24th april) there was an article claiming that chewing gum while doing maths improves your mathematical ability. this astonishing result was determined by a study conducted by an american university. chewing GUM? seriously? i know a lot of us nowadays are not as smart or intelligent but GUM? who falls for that?
these american studies have now proven the fact that they are nothing but a big, correction, humungous pile of shit.
off the top of my head i can list out some of the results these studies have put forth.
1. coffee reduces sperm count.
2. coffee increases sperm count.
3. pandas indulge in kinky sex
4. appy fizz followed by mint is a carcinogen
5. ajinomoto is actually good for health
6. oral sex leads to throat cancer
(funnily enough almost all are sex-related so bear with me)
7. men do not have an ego.
8. bottle-fed babies grow faster.
9.wine consumption reduces sperm count
10. prolonged sex decreases libido
so some of them may make sense but some? i don't even want to think about some. how is it that amidst recession; killings; suicides and the risk of losing their job; american proffesers find time for these worthless studies. which by the way do not make sense. who cares if pandas are having fun? there are even wierder articles; more later

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