DOUBTS



Ella is a very pretty girl. Ella has pretty black hair and mellow green eyes. Ella is not very talkative and is seemingly very shy. On the first day of school, Ella looked very scared. I walked up to her and said hi. Ella doesn’t like studying very much and always needs my help. I love helping Ella. She gives me an ice-cream every time I do. Ella looked very pretty on her birthday. I bought Ella flowers and chocolates. Ella was very happy. Ella took me out to lunch that day. We had pizza and coke and ice-cream. I was very happy that day. I love looking at Ella in the morning. She looks very sweet. She always walks in late and is very sleepy. Ella always sleeps in the first hour with her head on my shoulder. I like the feeling. Ella and I sometimes hold hands and walk. It’s fun. People like to make fun of me and Ella. They call us some names whose meaning we don’t know. Ella always gets angry. She doesn’t like them. I don’t really mind.
I have never had a friend before Ella. People used to call me all those things anyhow. I never knew what they meant then either. Ella was my first friend.
I love Ella.
But Ella stopped talking to me.
Why?
                                                                    *
One day I kissed Ella on the cheek. And someone called me a very bad word. I knew what it meant. Ella did too. We both didn’t like it. But I was confused. I never did anything wrong. All I did was kiss my friend on the cheek. Why was that wrong?
                                                                 *
Two days ago Ella stopped talking to me. I don’t know why. All I know is that I miss her. And I want to talk to her. And ask her why.
I don’t feel hungry anymore.
                                                                *
My mother just came and told me that Ella is here.
What do I say?
Ella walked in and was looking so pretty. She also looked so worried for me.
I started to cry. I did not know what else to do.
So I said what first came to me.
I said “I love you.”
And Ella ran away.
                                                                *
Ella hasn’t come to school for three days now. And she won’t see me either.
I need to speak to her. And explain. I love her. But that is all. It isn’t sexual. Or physical. Or anything. It’s only love.
That is all.
Is that wrong?
  

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